What is your profession/line of work/passion:
Directing and writing
Why did you write your book?
I went through shitty relationships, and was like fuck it I might as well do something with all of this writing that I have. And I started posting it on Twitter, and people seemed very interested in it. My book isn’t just poetry, it’s an art book as well. It has a bunch of scans of my journal in it.
Is this book for a certain person in particular?
Honestly I did it for myself, I was creating and I wanted to do something with this.
How's the response been so far?
The people that have actually purchased it and read it, love it. I've gotten really good feedback from people, it’s very personal and people really like that I shared so much of myself I guess.
What have they been telling you that it's doing for them?
I feel like a lot of people relate to it. I was having this discussion actually about art and making art relatable or making it for yourself. And I definitely make all of my art for myself. Me and my friend were talking and thinking about when you make art for yourself, it’s actually more relatable because it's so personal.
Did you have any difficulties if any when you were going through the writing process of the book?
I struggle with being comfortable enough to share so much of myself for sure. But other than that, I argued with Amazon a lot.
Do you remember the moment, where you said I have to do this and it needs to be in a tangible form?
I do, when I was living with my ex he sarcastically said to me something about writing a book and then I was like ya I should write a book, you’re right. And then I contacted my friend Max who is a graphic designer. I told him I was writing a book, and he was like what?! And I was like ya!
So your ex’s sarcasm actually turned into an idea?
Ya, my ex being a fucking douchebag.
Did you have a support system throughout this process?
I had a girl from Twitter who edited it. Bree did all the grammar and stuff and then my friend Max is the person who put it in Indesign and then my friend Benji made the cover. My friends are very supportive, they’re pretty much the only reason why this worked out because they've been helping me.
You’re lucky to have a good core group of friends that you can count on for something like this.
Ya my friends are amazing.
Now that you’re 20, reflecting on your teen years, are there any lessons that you've learned that you'll apply moving forward to the rest of your life?
Honestly I don’t feel that much different. I feel a little different because I'm not a teenager anymore but other than that I don’t feel different.
What difficulties do you face today that some people are unaware of? Or things that people may have preconceived notions about you?
I feel that with my book it’s pretty evident, I came out with a lot of stuff if you read into it a little bit deeper. You know, there's there's some heavy meaning behind the things that I say. If you think about how I write, you can definitely see it. I'm your average 20 year old with fucking clinical depression and anxiety.
You've said that when you shaved your head it helped you with your anxiety a lot. But now that you're growing your hair again, what are you doing now to help battle your anxieties?
I just went to therapy honestly, and I take medication. I spend a lot of time reading and stuff too, it helps me chill out. I really enjoy reading.
What are your favorite authors or books?
I really like Charles Bukowski, he’s one of my favorites. But my favorite book is American Psycho just because how ambiguous it is. That’s my favorite form of writing, when people write super ambiguous. I’m reading the Bluest Eye and Trainspotting right now.
Did your experience at NYFW give or provide anything for you?
I got to do this short film in Paris after that which was really tight. And I also shot with Mario Testino after that. But I don’t know if NYFW really did much for me to be completely honest. I didn't do it this year, it's so stressful honestly. There was this casting that I went to, it was so shitty. They put me in a swimsuit and then made me feel bad about my body, it was shitty.
Do you believe that everyone should receive credit for the work they do regardless of their social currency or clout? Or do some people deserve credit for the work they do and others don’t?
Ya of course everyone deserves credit for what they do. Honestly I'm really bad about it on Twitter because some people don’t have their “add to photos” on. But on Instagram I tag people on everything, it doesn’t matter. It’s so weird that people care about that, about tagging someone in a photo.
Why do you think that is?
I don’t know, I think people are really greedy with followers a lot of the time i’ve noticed. Like, they won’t tag people in things.
What warrants that decision? Say you worked with a person, then the decision is made not to give them credit?
If someone was shitty to me, I wouldn’t even post the thing that they did no matter how good it was you know what I mean?
A caption on Instagram from December 15, 2017 reads - "yes hello. i actually identify as half skirt half pant now so if you could put some Respecc in my pronouns I appreciate it. I know I recently came out but just think of this as Coming Out 2: You Thought It Was Over.” For everyone out there can you clarify this? What is your preferred pronoun?
They/Them. That’s my identity obviously but also, I don't want it to only be the only thing that defines me if that makes sense? I don’t ever put it on social media or anything because it’s just social media. I’ve been non-binary for a long time before I even knew what it was.
What has time taught you?
I feel like a lot of people that I'm "friends with”, I'm not actually friends with. That's what I learned from growing up or whatever. I just realized that I have two or three friends and that’s it. I don’t need to trust everyone, I need to learn that I don't have to be so close with every single person that I meet, I need to be more selective with who I spend my time with.
Do you think that someone can learn how to be empathetic?
I think that you either have empathy or you don’t, and if you don’t you’re a fucking sociopath.
What is a luxury for you?
Coffee and reading, those are my favorite things to do.
What do you believe there needs to be more of?
As corny as it sounds, just love. I need love, everyone needs love.
Do you have any goals or things you want to accomplish this year?
I’m writing a second book. I might just make it poetry, i’m not positive yet. I may include stories in it of things that have happened to me, because I have a very strange life. I want to get a job that I enjoy, and I want fall in love this year, like genuine love.
In your opinion what is a problem that needs to be solved?
Are there any must-see movies that you recommend?
You have to see The Shape of Water if you haven’t seen it, oh my God. It was so good! It’s really one of the greatest movies i’ve ever seen. I was fucking balling my eyes out!
Ratatouille or Spirited Away?
Oh shit, that’s fucking hard! Those are my two favorite movies! I can’t decide, ah Ratatouille!
Where can people find you online?